Shelly’s Journal

Five years ago, I wrote my very first blog post, not sure what it would mean, not sure that anyone would read it and care. Bump was just a baby then. My hubby was working nights. And I felt all alone in my endeavors to take care of that little baby….and suddenly the world opened up.

My posts were in a quite different direction in the beginning. Somehow, I though I could be profound. And then I realized that there were many more who had a better grasp on certain topics. But today, it’s all over the place, just a stop for me to write about things that are crossing my mind and my life.

I have met many great people because of blogging. Some have disappeared and some have changed their perspectives completely. But I still enjoy, for the most part, the stream of people that happen through my blog. It’s been a blessing. So even though I go through a time every year where I think I’ll just shut up shop, ultimately, I stay. I come back here to be myself. I come here to get away from the judgments of many of the fb crowd. There, it seems, my every off-the-beaten trail choice is condemnation of someone else’s lifestyle or parenting style or choices. But here, I am just me.

And tonight I am sharing something special my boys and I discovered this week. In the random way that I have of grabbing books from the library shelf, I pulled out The Little Red Lighthouse and The Great Grey Bridge by Hildegarde Ward Smith. It is a wonderful story of the little lighthouse on the Hudson River that sits in the spot where the George Washington Bridge was built. And the lighthouse is still there. The book is from the 40s and is timeless in many ways. Perhaps technology has changed, but lighthouses still fascinate little ones.

I move forward from here. This space will continue to be a spontaneous outpouring of my daily life. Thanks to all for stopping by.

I am sitting here watching a storm of monsoon proportions out my window. And listening to it. It is a rather blustery day out there, and probably a perfect day to do a Yoga workout.

When I mentioned to some of my friends that I was now doing yoga, a mask of pain and panic crossed their faces. How could I? Wasn’t yoga evil? (Okay, maybe I was thinking that was what they were thinking. But they did ask….well, isn’t that contrary to Christ???

Whooooo. Stop here. We’re not talking about praying to myself or any other God. We’re talking about stretching (some of the best I’ve done.) We’re talking about quieting our mind, focusing on breathing and moving in rhythm with our bodies. Yes, there are yogis who do more than that – ohhms and chants and other stuff. They believe different things, and if you “follow” them, you might be prescribing to their beliefs. But, if those folks even think about putting out an exercise DVD, they are not going to mention all that. Reality being, they are not going to sell DVDs to the average American fitness freak if they project too much of their beliefs in it. It has to appeal to a wide range of beliefs. Which is perfect for me.

I often do find myself praying during yoga. Because it is the one time of the day that things are quiet, and as my mind quiets, I open up to the Lord. And I pray to Jesus, and I thank him and praise him because when you are in a yoga state, there is no other prayer that can pass through your mind. In the midst of the movement and the breath, you can find any god you want. But if your heart is close to Jesus, I think that’s who you will find.

I have already voted, please don’t waste my time by calling me today. By the way, 3x a day for the past week, that is too many phone calls. I know who you are. I know what you stand for. Please don’t insult my intelligence by repeatedly contacting me regarding your campaign.

(Note, please keep this in mind for future elections.)

Funny, the dems only called once every other day…

Ahhh, the sweet smell of Monday. It’s back to the routine, the place my family thrives and functions – even with the rain and overcast days. Once upon I time I lived for the weekends, now I live for Monday morning and order. Funny how things like that happen.

My Little E surprised me today. He wanted to help vacuum, but the big dyson was too much for him to handle. He disappeared and reappeared with the “Bob the Builder” hand vac, declaring “I’m helping.” Yes, you are, little man of joy.

And Bump is becoming such a big boy now, I can hardly stand it. No one prepared me for this idea that they “grow up” before you know it. I try to picture him as a man sometimes, and I can’t do it. I clearly see him as that little bundle of joy we brought home from the hospital.

And haircuts…how much do you pay for a haircut? I was privy to a Facebook conversation, where one gal declared she would pay no more than $35 for a cut. I thought to myself, I can get the me and the boys cut for that – without the tip of course. I have never gone to a “stylist” or had a “stylist”. I used to have a gal who cut my hair in Green Bay that was the closest thing. She charged $3 more than the chain hair cut places. I guess I’m still a small town girl.

We survived another Halloween. Took the boys to Arena Racing in Hampton Roads. They loved that. Although there were costumes and candy there, as well. But overall, lots of fun for kiddos. The big score of the night was the tire given to little E by one of the female racers. It has been oodles of fun around here. The tires are small – probably go cart sized. The cars are 1/2 size of regular cars and run on a 13 hp engine. Most of the drivers are teenagers. I guess it’s racing 101.

Still working out. Haven’t missed a day. Here’s what the last few days have been like:

Friday 10/30 – Legs and Back with Core workout
Saturday 10/31 – Kickbox Bootcamp with Step and Bar (45 minutes)
Sunday 11/1 – Kickboxing Combat Surge Workout (60 minutes) Uses med ball, weighted bar. And 60 minutes of YOGA
Monday 11/2 – Chest. Shoulders. Triceps (p90X) and 2 minutes of jumprope

Stay tuned. This jumprope thing is going somewhere.

I was one of those skinny, skinny kids. Growing up, I found myself always active, running around or doing something. Even in the winter, we were out and about in our snow filled world. There were very few obese people, much less children. Tough and athletic, I often was one of the first picked for sports teams. I ran fast, jumped high and wanted to be the best at everything.

In 1979, two things happened to rock my world. I tore my knee up in a downhill skiing accident. The injury would completely wipe away any chance I’d ever have at a High School athletic career. With knee reconstructions still non-existent, my knee became mush and my active life disappeared. Shortly after that, I hit puberty. And suddenly I went from the skinny kid, to being an inactive, husky built girl. It was truly a low point in my life. And I struggled to regain my identity.

Now I was never truly obese, but my torso was well padded from top to bottom. I was not fit in any way. Any attempt at fitness was met with instability in my knee. I mired myself in self pity, and often food.

Once I hit college, I was just another face in the crowd. I maintained my body weight of about 140 and clothing size of 12. I never understood nutrition and ate and drank whatever I wanted. I watched a lot of TV, hung out with friends, and really never played sports – although I loved to watch them.

Then something happened. Towards the end of my college career, I ended up having a busier schedule between jobs and classes, and since I could walk everywhere, that’s what I did. I lost a clothing size for the first time since, well ever. It was shocking to go down to a 10 and maintain it for a time. I felt great. But once I graduated and started making my way in the working world, I jumped right back up. I sat those skinny jeans in the back of my closet and hoped for another day.

My other day would come a few years later. I tried “at home” workouts for the first time, doing step aerobics. The stepping motion was perfectly stable and didn’t bother my knee. Every night, I would hop on the step for 45 minutes. Within a few months, I was back in the skinny jeans. During the following summer, I began to ride my bike as well, often going on long bike rides after work and on weekends. I felt great and kept the weight off.

In 1995, I finally took the plunge and had a second knee surgery to put back in the stability to my knee. While there would always be some weakness, I needed more strength. During the extensive PT, I was basically out of commission on the biking and aerobics. And it was not long after that the wheels were in motion for me to leave Wisconsin forever. In this process, I not only put back on all the weight, but ballooned up to 167 lbs. – the heaviest I’d been in my entire life.

Once out east, I started back on my bike and aerobics, but seemed to make little progress. One of my co workers was doing a low fat diet, and I embraced the idea. I had also met my husband at that time and he began to encourage me to run. Over time, all these pieces came together, and the weight started to come back on. The skinny jeans came out and then went back in because they were too big. I dropped all the way down to around a size 4 and 133 lbs. I gradually lost the diet, but still ran 30-40 miles a week. So I maintained the loss.

After we became homeowners, things changed a little with our lifestyle, and running was harder to do. These were the yo-yo years for me. Up and down. Up and down. I did much with my diet. It was always exercise, exercise, exercise. Then came two kiddos and pregancy weight. After Little E was born, that weight just wouldn’t come off. I hung out at 160 for a while, then I made some dietary changes and ran my butt off training for a half marathon. That took me down in the 140s and kind of a 6-8 clothing size.

Since that half, it’s been a battle. I’ve been tired, really tired and overwhelmed by all the things around me. While I stayed in my range, I still didn’t feel good about myself. I wasn’t fit, and I knew that eating wasn’t the best. But I didn’t know where to start. I couldn’t find any consistency in my life.

This spring, I started to eat better. I am a notorious veggie avoider. But green smoothies gave me a way to add in veggies. My energy increased. Then I discovered P90X. And it gave me a structure to wrap my eating and workouts around. Because I didn’t have to think about those things as much, it became easier. While the workouts are definitely challenging, the mental side – the getting out there is always the thing that bogs me down. So, I got out there every day.

But the eating is it. And I’ve never been a good dieter. While I don’t follow the P90X diet to the letter, I generally try to eat 1800 calories a day of good food. I eat lots of small meals, and try to back of on some carbs, getting lots of protein in my days. And this has made the difference. I’ve said goodbye to fast food, pizza, mexican and other fattening options, allowing myself a “cheat day” now and again. I focus on great foods that I can have, like hummus, oatmeal, peanut butter, guacamole and green smoothies. I love my protein shakes. I even shook my caffeine addiction purely by accident.

Now, I am 140 lbs. And I may never break that barrier. But I am leaner. I am almost a size 4. I refuse to accept it though. I have muscles. I can do pull ups and chin ups. I also have lots of energy and feel good. Which is really the most important thing. Because beyond all this exercise, I’m still a wife and mother. And every day is more about all the other things I do. But by setting myself up for success, I am able to multi task and run our household. I am able to give my best to my family.

I find it ironic that at 16, 140 lbs was too much. But at 42, it’s just right. How does that happen? But that’s where I’ve come from. Now, let’s see where I go.

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Today’s workouts: 65 minutes of cardio kickboxing, 20 minutes of heavy bag work, 50 minutes of yoga

I don’t often get days where I get this much cardio. Although with my boys now seeming to move to a place where they can just play together semi -peacefully, I may be able to get more of this. Yoga is my nighttime ritual. And tonight, I got good and stretched out.

Exercise is just my distraction. It’s the thing I can focus on and control when there are so many things out there that I can’t control. And I can think about that instead of worrying. And, it’s good for me, too.

Our days are mostly filled with other things. Homeschool has started officially. I have struggled with getting Bump into Phonics, but have finally seen some relief. He has latched onto some reading exercises that he’s good at and build his confidence. We are doing a wonderful study on the Solar System. It’s actually meant for older students, I think. But Bump’s love of all things space fuel him into really getting into it. It’s a blessing to be able to study something he loves so much and have him grow in it. I know he would not get this opportunity in public school. Our math is coming along. He surprises me daily at how good he is at it. His favorite subject is Bible study. Can’t beat that.

We’re moving right along.

And Little E, seems like such a big boy at 3. His brother is finally getting a word in edgewise, and we are beginning to see his little personality. He loves to do things with his hands. So any type of schooling thing that involves manipulatives or cards or other touchy things is right where he’s at. He laughs a lot, and screams like a banchee when he doesn’t get his way. But the joy he brings to us is unmeasurable.

Who could imagine?

Watching this world go round makes me want to retreat into the safety of our world. Where we are loving God, and each other and growing and learning. Sometimes that is enough for a day….

But on the exercise front, my workout today was:

Kenpo X – a kickboxing type workout that is part of P90X. I used my heavy punching bag for the punch combos and roared up a sweat. It was kind of fun.

I am on day 52 of 90 in P90X.

Tomorrow, I want to share the story of where I came from with my fitness and body type.

Yeah, exercise has become a big thing for me since I started P90X in May. While I’m still doing the “program” – using the resistance workouts – I’ve branched my cardio out into all kinds of other things, primarily cardio kickboxing type workouts. There’s nothing more humorous than watching a 40-something female, who is generally a clutz, try to coordinate aerobic kickboxing combos. Since I workout on the back porch, a few of my neighbors could potentially have the opportunity to partake of the laughter.

This week is what P90X calls, “Recovery Week”. I call it, freelancer week and really use it as a chance to try some different things daily, and build on them. Today’s workout was 45 minutes with Amy Bento’s CIA 2901. I basically did 4 of 5 kickboxing combos and a couple of the intervals. The workout format is:

warm up
combo 1
interval 1
combo 2
interval 2
combo 3
interval 3
combo 4
interval 4
combo 5
interval 5
cool down

The combos are 6-7 minutes long and the intervals are meant to be a surge and only 2-3 minutes. This is typically the format for most of Bento’s cardio kickboxing workouts.

It’s too soon to tell if I like this one or now. I generally have to get a better feel for the combos, and the first go round isn’t the best measuring stick. But, I have already mostly picked up on her Kickboxing Extreme workout, and have grown to love that one. Really gets my heart rate up and lets me burn some goo, which is what I was shooting for today. In general, I like to try and get a short yoga workout in most evenings, but since life has been calling this week, I’m calling it a wrap on the workouts for today. I will scuttle off to get my boy to soccer, dinner on the table and a project off my sewing table.

But my workout times, are my little intervals of me time. Believe it or not, workouts are a recharge of my batteries and get me through the day. I try to take them in small increments – 30-40 minutes at a time. It seems to do the trick.

I’m off now, to the rest of my day, and hope to list out how my workouts are trending here.

Okay, it has been entirely too long since I wrote here. Gosh. It’s already pumpkin season, and I haven’t had much to say. Truthfully, inside my head I have a lot to say, but I seem to never have a chance to get to this place and put fingers to keys. Hey, hey.

All right.

I’m still doing P90X. After finishing my first round, I’m just over half way into my second. I’m tearing it up.

We’re homeschooling. Getting our feet wet. Trying to figure out what’s right and what’s not.

It’s fall, so we’re doing fall stuff. Pumpkin patch, leaf rubs, wearing pants, watching the black birds. yeah.

Trying to get into sewing gear for Xmas stuff.

So life is continuing on around me, even though my blog has hit a bump in the road. I’m going to try and post my accountability here, for my workouts as an inspiration to all those who might be trying to workout. Also, I’m doing a lot of different workouts. Netflix is my friend. I will also post my thoughts on them as we go along.

I’ll catch you up more on that later.

In the meantime, I’m off to sleep. Another busy day starting early!

Well, after reading like crazy for most of this year, I ran into a little snag in August. VACATION plus Home renovation = Not much time to read. Both of these were read on my two week respite to Northwoods of Wisconsin and Michigan.

The Angel’s Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafón – This is a prequel of sorts to Zafón’s Shadow of the Wind, taking place in Barcelona in the years preceding SOTW’s events. A few of the minor characters cross over, but the story is all intrigue with the central character of David Martin, a writer, who is trapped in a house with a story all its own. Lots of sorted tales, the devil himself, and a most confusing ending. I enjoyed most of the story, but admit that it’s story format was similar to SOTW and left me with the same feelings as I was reading it.
Firefly Lane by Kristin Hannah – A total chick book that I absolutely despised. One of the main characters is a doormat, the other is the one to walk all over the doormat time and time again, always getting the grace and foregiveness of the doormat. Lots of eye rolling for me.

I’ve got a better start for September, with one book already read. Yeah. But we’re busy here with homeschool starting and more home projects.

That’s right people. I made it. Yesterday was Day 90 of my P90X program – Round 1. I finished off with 90 minutes of Yoga X yesterday afternoon.

People ask me…does it work? I’ll let you be the judge.

I also lost 8.5 inches between my hips, waist and chest, but only 3 lbs. My goal had been 10.

For 2 years, I have been using other exercise DVDs to try and do push ups. Doing them from my knees was even a struggle. By week 3 on P90X, I started doing them off of my toes. I can now do 12 in a row off of my toes, and I did almost 60 of them in the last push up workout. I also have done a few pull ups. That seems like a small miracle to me. The yoga and stretching workouts have helped me gain more flexibility. I couldn’t even touch my toes before. Now, I can almost put my hands flat on the floor. And this fitness had bled over into other exercises. I did my first run in a couple months last week and found that my time for a 5 mile run was actually faster than what I had been running at last summer, when I put in 15-20 miles a week.

This was more than a journey to look better. It was, for me, an opportunity to feel better. Since altering my diet and adding muscle mass, I have had more energy than I have had in years. I do occasionally get that after lunch lull, but most often, I find I have more than enough to get me through. I think I already mentioned that I have stopped drinking coffee at a break neck pace. This too is a result of the program – not having time in the morning (or inclination) for a hot beverage. Instead, I have a recovery drink post workout, and move on with my day.

I am discovering that I am stronger and now can physically do more things. Today I pushed the stroller with one hand and held the over anxious dogs with the other, having no problems with that arrangement. I have moved lots of furniture in the last week (new floors all around here) by myself.

I also have a whole new group of friends that I met on the Beach Body Message boards. As we all go through our workouts together, we encourage one another – celebrating successes, and lifting one another up through failures. I love our group. We are all different ages, body sizes, etc, but yet the workout binds us. If you decide to do P90X, I encourage you to create a “free” membership at teambeachbody.com. Find a group of folks starting out around the same time as you are. Be open and honest, share your story. It’s a blast!

Someone also asked me what you need to get started with P90X. The DVDs, obviously, a yoga mat, yoga block, weights or resistance bands, a place to do pull ups – if that’s your choice, you can also use resistance bands for that option – a chair for a few exercises, and a fan. Yeah, you’re going to sweat a little. I used the bands on my first round of P90X. I plan to use some weights and also start working my way to pull ups.

Exercise, for me, is a foundation of good health. At 42, this is more important to me than ever. P90X has helped me to strengthen that foundation. Are you ready to feel better and change your life???? Then BRING IT!